meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I touched a dick in church today
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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