She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
