y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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