And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
