I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
