We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's just like the Real World with babies
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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