Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
