Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
