This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
