dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
