I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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