you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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