I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He better not be in your backpack
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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