Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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