no, he came in my armpit
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
