I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I AM VODKA MAN
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
