Ketchup is God's man juice
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
