She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
