So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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