No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
