do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
