Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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