also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
