return my video game
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Houston, we have a blender
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
