I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
