Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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