Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he thought i was a dude.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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