im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
