My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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