so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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