Your mouth is God's brothel.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
