And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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