So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
