So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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