When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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