He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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