Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
