11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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