just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
