She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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