sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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