you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
