I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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