I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
