I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
