I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
