He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
