Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
