i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
