Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I deserve this hangover.
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