You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So apparently I’m into choking now
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
