I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i barfeds in our rink
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
