I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
