I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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