Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
